In my travels as a licensed therapist, whether in my private practices, speaking for churches or in testifying for many state legislatures over the past four years, I am often asked to explain Reparative Therapy and how it really works. You probably know that any kind of therapy for unwanted same-sex attraction is vilified in the national and social media, especially by LGBT activists. The level of vitriol and condemnation directed at therapists and SSA individuals has gotten out of control. (In my opinion, the level of verbal abuse indicates the level of emotionally unresolved issues LGBT activists have had since childhood.)
Reparative Therapy is condemned by these folks who claim this therapy is harmful because people are born Gay, that it is all about electroshock, spiritual shaming, aversion techniques such as inducing vomiting when attracted to the same sex, and that therapy is killing a lot of people! I hear this vitriol almost every week because of my professional work in therapeutic and political circles. So let me express what real therapy is all about and how emotional change actually happens, as succinctly as possible. Many clients inform me that what they feel about themselves is transformative and freeing or that being in touch with their own joy of manhood feels much better than sex with men. (This is how I know that homosexual feelings are not inborn and that change is possible.)
Authentic Reparative Therapy is based on the client’s assumption that he is not genetically homosexual. (Indeed, there is no Gay gene, which all psychological associations agree with.) In every single SSA case, my colleagues and I have observed that there are always deeper issues underneath the homoerotic feelings. Always is a gutsy term to use because many different people do have many different experiences. However, in general, there is a deep core level in SSA clients in which they feel heavy inferiority in their masculine identities. They feel an immense loss of love, acceptance, affection, approval, affirmation and closeness during their childhood, either demonstrably within their parental and peer relationships, or in covert ways that aren’t detected until later in life.
Real Reparative Therapy helps a client move into authenticity by allowing him to experience all feelings and judgments that come up in a trusting, non-shaming relationship with the therapist. Real therapy also includes unconditional love no matter what the client has felt or done. Within this loving environment a person can be free to simply express their true self. Resolving the deep shame or inferiority issues is one of the hallmarks of real therapy without which progress cannot happen, or happen very little. Unfortunately, this is what many spiritual leaders, counselors, or even liberal therapists simply not aware of.
Shame destroys everything. I’m not talking about guilt. Appropriate guilt keeps us from robbing banks and killing people, and this is good. Shame is a soul killer in which beliefs of absolute defectiveness, worthlessness, unforgivableness are felt even if a person cognitively can see these are lies and are not even biblical. In therapy, when shame is healed, ironically the authentic and healthy God-designed sense of masculinity can be experienced in one’s own body. And this in turn leads automatically to self esteem, lower anxiety, and a sense of manly power in one’s own body instead of objectifying other men’s bodies.
Here’s the hallmark of authentic Reparative Therapy that much of the world, even some Christian people, do not know. With this kind of work, (that just happens to fit Christian principles), homosexual feelings automatically, spontaneously lessen or dissipate completely. What’s left is the joy of manhood. Some men chose to move on to relationships with women through need fulfillment and resolving issues with women, and some men spend much of their lives filling up the ache inside them for male need fulfillment in healthy ways that never happened for them in childhood.
There is an immense amount of unconditional positive regard within the therapy experience when there is a caring therapist who happens to be highly trained in this most effective therapy in the world for same-sex attraction. Also, with the new advancement that has been made in Reparative Therapy using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing), almost all our clients are reporting a major increase in effectiveness that is occurring much more quickly. In short, in our clinics it is taking much less time to experience this therapy and less long-term expense.
David Pickup’s Personal Statement (Video)
You may want to know that I myself had these issues because of childhood emotional and sexual abuse. Authentic Reparative Therapy worked for me wonderfully, and it helped save my life. My friends, the joy of Manhood, as God created us to experience, is a wonderful thing to feel and act upon.
[Mr. David Pickup, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist who was trained in Reparative Therapy under Dr. Joseph Nicolosi and now operates practices in Dallas and LA. He can be directly contacted by phone or email: 888-288-2071, firstname.lastname@example.org.]
His website address: www.davidpickuplmft.com
There are local resources available for persons experiencing unwanted same sex attraction issues and their families. Courage and Encourage support group chapters are available in San Antonio. Please contact Fr. Richard Samour, 210-924-5252, email@example.com, hotline number 210-996-1371. Local chapter website